Out of all the concepts in yoga I have learnt about so far, ahimsa is one that I keep coming back to. While sitting here eating my lunch today, I thought I would find a picture to reflect what resonates mostly about this to me, and that is of a human showing kindness to an animal. My google search actually turned out to be quite confronting, as some of the images of animals that came up in the search showed starving animals, those in need of saving, and even those hurt by humans. I’m a big sook when it comes to animals, and my children find it amusing that I can’t continue watching a movie because the dog in it might get hurt.
The basic concept of ahimsa is non-violence. That is, non-violence to all living things – people, animals, insects, plants, all life … and ourselves. And that is what I want to focus on today; non-violence to self.
Firstly, there is no perfection when it comes to humans. You would be hard pressed to find someone who could say they are truly of non-violence. It could be harshly spoken words or the squishing of a bug, but many people do not consider that an act of violence could be a negative thought directed at ourselves. Those thoughts where we tell ourselves that we are stupid, or ugly and use nasty words in our minds we direct to ourself. And at the heart of this is our judgment of ourselves.
Why are we so hard on ourselves? It comes down to our ego, you know that little voice that just keeps going on and on in our minds, and just won’t shut up. Ego originally developed in humans as a survival mechanism when times were tough, and we had to fight for food and evade predators. Ego would be on alert and focused on motivating us. But take that away and we a left with this ego that seems to pick up and amplify the negatives. It is really trying to help, but it has a terrible way of communicating. Say, ego tells you that you are stupid because you forgot to pay a bill on time. What ego is really trying to say is ‘hey you need to pay this bill, its important, make sure you don’t forget this again’, but says it with a total lack of tact. But all we hear is we are stupid. Media conveys to us that we need to look beautiful in order to have everything and a happy life, so ego will tell us we are ugly to make us improve our attractiveness in order to have that happiness and anything we desire, and once again, ego just sucks at doing its job when it comes to life in the 21st century.
Then stack on top of that our limiting beliefs. These are our belief systems that are built from childhood. They are based on things that happen to us, that are said to us, or how something made us feel. When ego notices a pattern, it thinks hey, this must be who or what I am and then will pick up on anything that endorses the idea to confirm the belief. And ego will use whatever it can, just like confirmation bias. What a mess, huh?
So what do we do about it? We start by acknowledging to ourselves what ego is, bring in awareness. If we know that we are calling ourselves stupid really just to prevent an error occuring again, bring the focus to the error, not the name-calling, ‘So ok, I really need to keep on top of my bills, I’m not stupid, just busy this week’, or, ‘I’m not ugly, I am unique, I am me’. We wouldn’t make these terrible comments to anyone else, so try and make a new habit of not being so mean to yourself. Cut yourself some slack.
Meditation is a great way to quiet the mind. Spending time in nature. Doing the things you love. We are living in a crazy fast-paced world, more so now than ever. If you are tired, rest. If you hear a great beat and want to dance, do it! Don’t worry about what other people think, because they are not living your life, you are. Their judgment comes from their own ego, and that really isn’t your problem. Do the best you can in the moment, that’s all you can ask of yourself. And stop judging yourself for being you. Just be kind to yourself.
Love and laughter always,
Amanda
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